That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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