i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Randomize
