Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
