I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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