But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
