? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
