I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
it's like iHOP with fire
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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