he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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