You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
