He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
