do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
