I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
