fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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