before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
