How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
