You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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