Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
