Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
