porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
