he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dicks are not precious.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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