whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
