If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
