It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
