i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
