do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
