ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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