69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
