Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
