Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh god the rape fog is back!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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