So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You are the jesus of drinking
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
