So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So. Much. Porn.
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