Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude i'm inner monologue high
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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