where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
