best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
