its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
