Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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