Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He passed out mid-signature
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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