Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
