It's Friday. Sex?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
