I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
