you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
