4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
