I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
