that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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