i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
