I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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