Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
