He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
