Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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