Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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