He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
