How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
